Singled Out for Good

  • Feb. 10, 2014
  • #8291

Single Christians who long to be married can accept their singleness as God’s best plan for their good and His glory.

Singled Out for Good

Hi, I’m Joni Eareckson Tada with a word about being single.

Welcome to “Joni and Friends” and thanks for spending these few minutes with me as I tell you about my friend who is single. Her name is Betsy and you’ve never met a more contented Christian than this woman, which is extraordinary when you learn how much Betsy loves children. She’s in her 60’s now, but I remember when she was in her late 30’s, maybe early 40’s. Betsy really struggled. There were no prospects of any man on the horizon. No one was calling her up for a date on Friday night, or knocking on her door, but I was amazed at the way she handled that challenging time of being single. She went ahead and got her Master’s Degree (even at her late age); she got her degree in childhood counseling. Bless Betsy’s heart, she may have been single, but she was not going to let that discourage her. She has made the best of her single years by counseling troubled teens and children—hundreds of them—and many of them have come to Christ. It’s like Isaiah 54 says:

“More are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband.” (Isaiash 54:1)

Well my friend Betsy is such an amazing example of that.

You know, much has been written in Christian circles about singleness. The objective is usually to either chide those who are married for misunderstanding singles, or to empathize with unmarrieds as they bare the cross of plan B for their lives. Yet singles, like all believers, need scriptural instruction seasoned by grace and kindness—especially if you are single and feeling very discontent about it. And the first bit of instruction that’s so important is this: every problem is a theological problem. It is not that hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn, but that life has no tragedy like our God ignored. If you’re single and you long to be married, God is not being less good to you than he is to your girlfriend who just tied the knot and now has an adoring husband, a beautiful home, a spa bath, and new Corningware. It is a cosmic impossibility for God to shortchange any of His children. God is always good to you and His plan for you is for His highest glory and for your most profound good.

Accepting singleness is to celebrate the life God has given you. You are not single because you are too spiritually unstable to possibly deserve a husband, nor because you are too spiritually mature to possibly need one. You are single because this is God’s best for you. And if you’re single and doubting that you really have the gift of being single don’t worry, you have it. Like I said, it is cosmic impossibility that anything could be better for you right now than being single. You are a single Christian, not a Christian single. Don’t forget who you are, and especially whose you are. You are a single Christian—your identity is not found in your marital status but in your redemption status. You are one of the “haves” not one of the “have-nots.” And please don’t forget that.

If the insights I have shared have been encouraging to you, please know that I borrowed them all from my friend Paige Benton Brown who penned these thoughts when she was in her 30s and single. She wrote a marvelous essay titled “Singled Out by God for Good” and I would love to send you a copy of her essay, which we’ve put in a booklet. Just go to my radio page at joniandfriends.org when we are finished and ask for your free copy of Paige Brown’s booklet on singleness. Finally, don’t forget who you are, and especially whose you are. You are a single Christian; your identity is not found in your marital status but in your redemption status.

© Joni and Friends

 

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